a little lesson

i find that whenever i am holding finn and he falls asleep on me i rush to get him in his bassinet, freeing my hands and legs to do the dishes, wash some diapers, or maybe watch a little entourage with the husband. as much as i adore holding him, let's face it, there are always chores to be done.

tonite my dear mom (a.k.a. the baby whisperer) was here. and finn had fallen (fell?) asleep on her shoulder and it was time for her to head home (tear!). we debated what to do with the sleeping boy...should we attempt to swaddle and put him down even though it was a bit early? lay him next to me on the couch? i suggested (as if it were some wild, great, new idea), "maybe i should just hold him?". my mom smiled and said, "yes."

i am not good at sleeping when my baby sleeps, or taking it as easy as i should following finn's birth and tonight was a great reminder that i need to slow down and savor these moments when my baby is eager, and small enough to curl up and catch some zzzz's on my shoulder...after all, there is no better feeling. and someday i will miss this. and the dishes can always wait.

finn's second week

:: little lips

:: we call this face "milk drunk".

:: this babe loves being outside already.




:: so content with daddy.

:: so content that a spontaneous grin emerged.

:: peek a boo.

:: baby pursing those little lips.

:: oh how my life has changed. and my coffee table proves it.

:: sun bath.

:: daddy's home!

:: boy in stripes.

shall we stroll?

baby boy went on his first walk. baby boy is a fan.

flowers

we were given so many beautiful flowers from so many loved ones following finn's birth day. they brightened every corner of our hospital room and now, our home. they have helped bring a little "outside in" as i have been in hibernation mode for the last week. and they have helped remind us that we are not alone and how many people love our little finn.

i have diligently (almost obsessively) replaced water and have tried to make certain that every stem is submerged, hoping to prolong the life of each bouquet. these blossoms symbolize something much greater to me. they symbolize this precious newborn time that is already so quickly passing.

yesterday the petals of the lillies that ryan brought me in the hospital began to gently float to the floor. and as they fell, i felt a twinge of pain, wanting so badly to freeze this most intoxicating time.

i do gain solace in knowing what is ahead; finn's first smile, the pumpkin patch, more sleep :) people tell me it just gets even better. and although i am skeptical (how could it get better than this?!), i believe them. i feel like i am playing a game of tug of war: excited for what is to come with finn's life, and sadness for what has already passed (a mere ten days!). i suppose this should not surprise me, after all, i am still the girl that used to cry in my mom's arms when christmas was over, and now i get kind of sad on christmas morning, knowing that the anticipation is gone.

time has never been an easy concept for me, it mystifies me, it confuses me and it pains me and these flowers, while beautiful, are a visual reminder that this time will pass before i know it.

so each time i pick up another petal, i am led to hold my sweet boy a bit tighter, to study his little features with more attention, and watch him sleep for just another moment. i am grateful that something as ordinary as a bouquet can help me stay in the present and treasure every. single. moment.

finn's first week

:: the most memorable room number of my life.

:: learning the magic of skin to skin. nothing like it.

:: nobody can swaddle like a nurse can swaddle. little baby burrito.

:: my new favorite picture. my two boys.

:: i always wanted a baby with hair. too fun.

:: big hand, little hand. and one sleepy babe.

:: our festive hospital room. we were spoiled with flowers and balloons-big headed baby boy balloons to be specific!

:: these finger nails kill me and leave me wondering if little finn got a manicure in the womb.

:: when these little eyes meet mine, my heart beats a bit faster. and then it melts.

:: seriously? is there anything softer than baby feet? i had no idea...and i touch them about twenty times a day.

:: and those lips and that sweet, milky breath....sheesh. i never knew.

:: first bath! not sure how he feels about it...

:: those cheeks are getting chubby! and oh-so kissable.

:: never happier.

:: and now...a family.

it's a boy!

what's a girl to do...

when she's five days overdue and wants to scream...?

well, bake a chocolate bundt cake, of course!

and then eat a piece.


before dinner.

super easy peasy kinda weird recipe here.

my due date came (and went)...

and so did baby's crib mattress!

this room finally feels complete...and ready. ready and waiting.

will i have to wash everything all over again when baby finally makes his or her arrival?

oh yah, and could you just melt over this little sweater? i do about ten times a day. thanks dinha.

nursery tour

:: little overalls and a darling little vintage hanger will greet you...

:: our denim rocker. i know many hours will be spent in this space...rocking, nursing, cuddling and reading...

:: our sweet little white crib...with a mattress on the way! and a too cute over sized diaper pin holding a treasured quilt...

:: a wicker toy chest and coat rack illuminated by brilliant afternoon light. i simply love the light in this room...

:: baby's antique dresser...a furniture gem. and above it - a rack that we found sitting lonely in our garage. perfecto!

:: a bookshelf that still needs a little decorating tweaking... (i.e. my mama's special touch)

:: and some of my favorite details and special baby pieces...

:: this room brings me such peace and such excitement at the same time... i find myself in this space several times a day...daydreaming, smelling, touching and admiring. in some way, through hand-me-downs, loaners and gifts, all the people we love have helped make these four walls a nursery. the very nursery i imagined and hoped for. so other than our mattress, now all we need is a BABY!

:: and lastly, the bassinet. not just any bassinet, but the very bassinet that me, my sisters and cousins all slept in as wee babes. carefully restored and painted by my parents and all bedding lovingly sewed by my grandma and mom. and with our little babe it will become a family heirloom...the mere thought kinda chokes me up. such a treasure.