today i am...

one month old!

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dear finn:

i can't believe it has been one month since you bounded into the world, turned our lives upside down and changed our hearts forever. it has been the best (and sometimes the most challenging!) month of my life. we are so wildly and completely in love with you.



you are starting to grow and grow! all of the sudden you no longer fit into your newborn sized wardrobe and we are moving up to 0-3 months section of your closet (its bittersweet!). just this last week i have noticed that you feel a bit heavier, look a little longer and are getting much stronger! my oh my.



it feels like you are starting to really "see" us. you stick you tongue out at us, make funny noices, and finally maintain long periods of eye contact. it feels so great to interact with you. we are pretty sure that you are on the verge of smiling...what a sweet reward that will be. i can't wait!



you still sleep like a little champion at night...one nice six hour stretch each night for your tired mama. hard to complain about that! you are pretty active during the day, prefer to sleep on someone's shoulder and love having our undivided attention-our little leo :)



your favorite things are eating, bath time, laying on your changing table and anything to do with your daddy. you could just stare at him for what seems like hours. it is as if you are mystified and obsessed with him at the same time. he is pretty wacky with you and you just eat it up. you love daddy's voices and i think you feel really comfy and safe when he holds you. watching the two of you together is like christmas morning.


as for us, our favorite thing is you. every little bit.

love, mama and daddy

this little piggy.

i love everything about these little feet.

maybe because they are just like his daddy's.

maybe because they are the softest thing on the planet.

maybe because those big toes are almost always curled.

whatever the reason, most days i just want to eat them up for dessert.

finn's funny faces

sometimes when i find gobs of spit up on the dress i just washed for myself (i actually refer to it as my uniform-its black, hides that post baby tummy and allows me to nurse with ease-genius), or when i hear a cry from the other room just as i sat down with lunch and the remote, or worse, just as i hopped in the shower for the first time in two days, i find that i could really use a good laugh. so i look at this boy's funny face and slowly but surely it all just melts away...

finn's first visit to...

...casa de awesome!! as we pulled into the driveway, we were greeted with tantes and grandparents running our way. what a welcome.

the besties (a.k.a uncle trevor and obasan) and little ever came for a visit. so did grandma and grandpa great, my tantes, uncle joe and alex. i will never tire of seeing these faces love our babe.

new fingers grasping wise fingers.

an unexpected gift for little finn! handmade by grandpa great. now we have a family of adirondacks. i am tickled.

of course the parentals spoiled us with feast after feast for every meal...and dessert.

loving arms show me new ways to hold the dear boy. and finn shows off his new slippers.

discovering the peace and calm of outdoor nursing sessions.

marvelling at the wonder of the garden and its bounty...some of which found its way to my car. sweet.

deciding to stay just one more night and the husband driving down after work to eat dinner on the porch with us. perfect. oh yah, and eating mulberries off the tree with emily. funny.

giggling as finn takes his first bath at oma and papa's. i love that fresh bath hair look of his.

loving the magic of watching some of my favorite people get to know my favorite little person and introducing him to casa de awesone. the first of many visits.

oh the fun we will have.

this little bum...

just kills me.

our village

someone once told me that nothing will warm the cockles of your heart more than seeing friends and family love your baby...

i am here to report that it's true.

a little lesson

i find that whenever i am holding finn and he falls asleep on me i rush to get him in his bassinet, freeing my hands and legs to do the dishes, wash some diapers, or maybe watch a little entourage with the husband. as much as i adore holding him, let's face it, there are always chores to be done.

tonite my dear mom (a.k.a. the baby whisperer) was here. and finn had fallen (fell?) asleep on her shoulder and it was time for her to head home (tear!). we debated what to do with the sleeping boy...should we attempt to swaddle and put him down even though it was a bit early? lay him next to me on the couch? i suggested (as if it were some wild, great, new idea), "maybe i should just hold him?". my mom smiled and said, "yes."

i am not good at sleeping when my baby sleeps, or taking it as easy as i should following finn's birth and tonight was a great reminder that i need to slow down and savor these moments when my baby is eager, and small enough to curl up and catch some zzzz's on my shoulder...after all, there is no better feeling. and someday i will miss this. and the dishes can always wait.

finn's second week

:: little lips

:: we call this face "milk drunk".

:: this babe loves being outside already.




:: so content with daddy.

:: so content that a spontaneous grin emerged.

:: peek a boo.

:: baby pursing those little lips.

:: oh how my life has changed. and my coffee table proves it.

:: sun bath.

:: daddy's home!

:: boy in stripes.

shall we stroll?

baby boy went on his first walk. baby boy is a fan.

flowers

we were given so many beautiful flowers from so many loved ones following finn's birth day. they brightened every corner of our hospital room and now, our home. they have helped bring a little "outside in" as i have been in hibernation mode for the last week. and they have helped remind us that we are not alone and how many people love our little finn.

i have diligently (almost obsessively) replaced water and have tried to make certain that every stem is submerged, hoping to prolong the life of each bouquet. these blossoms symbolize something much greater to me. they symbolize this precious newborn time that is already so quickly passing.

yesterday the petals of the lillies that ryan brought me in the hospital began to gently float to the floor. and as they fell, i felt a twinge of pain, wanting so badly to freeze this most intoxicating time.

i do gain solace in knowing what is ahead; finn's first smile, the pumpkin patch, more sleep :) people tell me it just gets even better. and although i am skeptical (how could it get better than this?!), i believe them. i feel like i am playing a game of tug of war: excited for what is to come with finn's life, and sadness for what has already passed (a mere ten days!). i suppose this should not surprise me, after all, i am still the girl that used to cry in my mom's arms when christmas was over, and now i get kind of sad on christmas morning, knowing that the anticipation is gone.

time has never been an easy concept for me, it mystifies me, it confuses me and it pains me and these flowers, while beautiful, are a visual reminder that this time will pass before i know it.

so each time i pick up another petal, i am led to hold my sweet boy a bit tighter, to study his little features with more attention, and watch him sleep for just another moment. i am grateful that something as ordinary as a bouquet can help me stay in the present and treasure every. single. moment.

finn's first week

:: the most memorable room number of my life.

:: learning the magic of skin to skin. nothing like it.

:: nobody can swaddle like a nurse can swaddle. little baby burrito.

:: my new favorite picture. my two boys.

:: i always wanted a baby with hair. too fun.

:: big hand, little hand. and one sleepy babe.

:: our festive hospital room. we were spoiled with flowers and balloons-big headed baby boy balloons to be specific!

:: these finger nails kill me and leave me wondering if little finn got a manicure in the womb.

:: when these little eyes meet mine, my heart beats a bit faster. and then it melts.

:: seriously? is there anything softer than baby feet? i had no idea...and i touch them about twenty times a day.

:: and those lips and that sweet, milky breath....sheesh. i never knew.

:: first bath! not sure how he feels about it...

:: those cheeks are getting chubby! and oh-so kissable.

:: never happier.

:: and now...a family.

it's a boy!