paint, gardens and cribs

the weekend was full. full of busy and hard work. one big team kelly effort.

*we painted our nursery after i finally decided on the right blue. it took me seven samples. some too purple. some too bright. some too grey. and of course, it had to be perfect. it just had to match up with the vision i had in my head: a blue that would look beautiful with peach, pink and yellow for a girl baby, and a blue that would compliment greens, yellows and oranges for a boy baby.

we found it.

*we finally planted our first garden plot. tomatoes, green beans, basil and pumpkins.

a lot of hope and love lies in that little plot. and i am glad that ryan is happily responsible for our patch. his thumb is a lot greener than mine.

*we ryan set up our darling little crib. my favorite part was watching him tighten all the screws like lug nuts on a tire, not in order. and then he said that he wanted to tighten them again before the baby actually slept in the crib. so sweet.

i stare at that little white crib about once an hour.

*by the end of each day, we were starving and tired. honest work makes food taste so good. saturday we bbq'ed chicken and sunday night i made bowtie lasagna.

and here is where it gets weird. after our sunday supper, we finally crashed on the couch to watch a movie. ryan promptly fell asleep and i tried to pay attention but i felt so overwhelmed as i reflected on the weekend, that i cried. as in sobbed.

tears of happiness.

i have cried many types of tears over the last few months: frustrated tears, sentimental tears, angry tears, scared tears, grateful tears, tired tears, and hormonal tears. lots of hormonal tears. but that sunday night, i cried because the satisfied, contented and happy feelings bubbling inside me needed some type of escape. some type of relief before they exploded....

i thought about how the love i feel for ryan continues to surprise me.

i thought about how everything was about to change. and just get better.

i thought about how we spent the weekend: working side by side, cleaning, painting our baby's room, planting a garden, cooking, setting up our baby's crib. it all felt so big.

but it was that crib really got to me. there was something about opening that big box containing all the parts of our shiny new crib that i gasped a bit. wanting so badly to remember what it felt like to see this crib for the first time knowing that someday, all too soon, this crib's paint will be chipped and chewed on, and will have cradled the first months of all our babies' lives. and then, before i know it, all those babies will be too tall and it will be diassembled and packed away.

without words, and with each task, we both knew it was a momentous weekend. a time that felt a bit like standing on a cliff. we were on the brink of preparing to meet and know our family. and we knew it. so with paint brushes in hand, topsoil stuck on our shoes, and bbq sauce on our fingers, we kissed a bit more, threw out several more "i love you's" and stared more often than normal, trying so hard to freeze time a bit and solidify this memory.

soon, my tears began to dry as something told me that even when i am old and gray, i won't have a hard time remembering this past weekend. the weekend we felt our hearts begin to expand. the weekend we spent in a flood of anticipation and excitement of what was to come.


the weekend when it was all just beginning...




p.s. sorry for all the cheesy sentiment. but i really can't help it. i just one big, mess of a sap lately. just the sight of a baby on a pampers commerical brings instant tears to my eyes. please tell me i am not alone.