thirty four weeks

dear baby:

i now know why everyone raves about the second trimester: it is so fabulous because the third trimester can be...well...not so fabulous. especially in the heat. time is going by so slow and i am really tired of hearing or reading about "how amazing" other people felt during their "entire pregnancy". for reals? barf. of course i feel so lucky and i wouldn't trade it this experience for anything, but it is not without its challenges. it is hard work growing a baby!

so many little ailments leave me wondering how in the world you and i are supposed to be a team for another four to six weeks. for example, my ginormous feet and ankles are now painful, among other things, but more so, we are simply dying to know you - here, on the outside. we want to hold and kiss you, little baby berry. and learn if you are a boy berry or a girl berry. it is like waiting for christmas morning. times five hundred. i keep trying to remind myself that someday i will look at young pregant women wistfully...knowing what a miraculous time it is. and so short, in the span of a long life.

i also just feel really bad for you. you must be so cramped in there and it gives me anxiety to think about it for too long. claustrophobia city.

we went to the doctor today and my tummy is measuring 36 cm...mama is hoping that means you will be here sooner than later-as long as you are ready that is :)

and now, we are off to the pool which is about the only place where i feel like my chipper old self these days! i can't believe that in just a year, we will be swimming together. i can't wait to see you in a swim suit and hat. i hope you have really chubby legs.

love, mommy

p.s. i had my first delivery nightmare this week. i was in active labor with only nurse tracey by my side. i kept calling ryan and was getting only his voicemail - "hello, this is ryan kelly. i am not available..." OVER AND OVER - it was agony! i woke up right as the doctor was putting my feet in the stirrups, telling me to push...