date night

thursday night was date night.

we went to the movies to see this:

and of course, we ate this:

for dessert, we ate the m&m's i had stuffed in my purse.

the movie was good. i love colin firth, a.k.a. mr. darcy. and geoffery rush is so charming. but poor ryan was really uncomfortable. he said it felt like he was sitting in coach.


when movie was over, we trudged through puddles to get to the car. my very own mr. darcy kelly carefully held the umbrella and opened the door for me. chivalry is not dead, after all.


at home, we decided to have a pajama-rama. which, in our house, means we get decked out in p.j.'s, throw off all the couch cushions, and watch a movie, while cuddling.


we stayed on that couch until two a.m. when we woke up and declared it was time to go to our real bed.

happy night.

seventeen weeks

knowing there is a baby, our baby, growing inside me is the single most spectacular event i have ever experienced.

having my ryan beside me to love me, and our baby is as intoxicating as when we initially fell in love...

and having our little village of friends, and family who are so supportive and so excited for us is like the cherry on top, the icing on the cake, the thing that makes this already-exciting event...just perfect.

i feel like this little baby berry is already so incredibly loved.

i get text messages almost everyday asking how i and the berry are feeling.

every time i leave napa, my car returns to sacramento loaded with maternity clothes, baby clothes and baby stuff loaned from amanda and erika.

there is a twinkle in mother-in-law's eyes every time we talk about the baby and my father-in-law's grin seems to get bigger and bigger.

my grandma excitedly shows me fabric she picked up and explains what she plans to sew for baby.

my sisters clamour over me to rub my bump and whisper into my belly button about how much they already love this baby and how much fun they will have when baby comes out.

my dad looks at me with the softest eyes.

and my mom. oh my mom. i can't even explain it. she carefully listens to every complaint, every fear, and every bit of joy. her excitement to welcome this baby into our family is palpable. and it is like we can't get enough of each other. i glom onto every word and every moment i can spend with her and she gloms on right back. i am like a sponge. eager to retain every bit of wisdom she shares with me. my own mom is slowly teaching me how to mother. from one generation to the next. what a beautiful thing.

i know how warm and lovely it all feels right now, but i can't imagine how once this baby arrives, my heart will explode when i watch each member of our village hold and hug and kiss and love our little bundle....

so thank you everyone. truly.

p.s. am i going to keep getting bigger and bigger at this rate each week? i keep thinking my belly growth will taper off for awhile. this is getting kinda scary...

bloom

as long as i can remember, i always craved rainy days.

i loved the way a good rainy day changed my mood, changed the way everything around me looked: the light was different, the colors changed.

i always loved listening to the rhythmic sound of the drops hitting the pavement and the smell of wet asphalt was among my favorite of all scents.

i loved having recess indoors, getting cozy at home, driving through puddles and having a reason to eat soup and warm bread with butter.

but this year, something has changed. like a sea change deep within me.

i want the sun.

and so different from the past, my face now falls when i read the news, forecasting days of more rain.

similar to my cravings for m&m's and pineapple, i yearn to lounge in the sun and feel the warmth on my skin. i want to get a few more freckles. i want to be barefoot. i want to open all the windows in our little house. i just want to be outside.

i wonder if this little summer baby berry growing inside me is to blame.

regardless, despite my disapproval with the continuing rain, i am reminded that each day is so fleeting and that as hard as it may be to believe now, someday soon, my craving for rain and winter may return. and that most certainly, someday long from now, i will miss this time, this month, this week, of my life. rain soaked and all.

but today, as the cold seems to permeate my bones and heavy clouds loom above, for comfort, a few times each hour, i steal a wistful glance at the tree outside my office window.

it has bloomed.

and somehow, through the rain, each bloom seems to promise me warm, sunny days ahead...

sixteen weeks

dear baby:

*my view is changing. sometimes i have to adjust just to see my feet.

*today you are the size of an avocado, which just might be me and your daddy's favorite thing to share. i am confused though, because my tummy looks like it is housing a cantaloupe...?

*we celebrated valentine's day this week. our last as a family of two. we think it will be pretty fun to celebrate with you next year.

*i am officially feeling like myself again. just less energy but no more random fits of tears, barfing or six o'clock bedtimes. it is great.

*i love feeling like wherever i go, you go with me. we are never alone.

*i am also feeling particularly grateful for your daddy this week. without him, we would have dirty dishes all the time, hungry tummies, fewer laughs and empty gas tanks. he has taken over quite a bit and does it all with a smile. i think he is happy you are on your way and that his good, ole' wifey has returned, replacing the crazy lady that took over for a few months.

*stay warm in there, lil' baby berry...it is pretty stormy out here this week.

see? i told you my fancy red coat won't button. :)

the happiest place on earth

last thursday, ryan told me we were headed south for the weekend, specifically to disneyland! i nearly died. seriously. we drove through the night, arriving at this magical place just after they opened. i could hardly contain my excitement. weird, because i don't watch the movies over and over, have a disney bumper sticker on my car, nor do i collect disney figurines. i just love this place. i don't know if it will ever lose it's lustre, nor am i sure that i will ever understand what exactly it is about this place that makes me so very, very happy...but i know i am not alone.

sleeping beauty's castle was the first stop-it was nice to realize that there was something, some ride or attraction that i had yet to experience, especially since aurora was my favorite princess when i was a girl. we weaved through the stone staircases, reading all about malificent, aurora and her prince...

second stop: lunch. i would be lying if i said that a large part of disneyland's appeal this time was the food. years ago i ate the chicken fusili pasta at the pizza port and i haven't forgotten about it since.

it did not disappoint.

peter pan's flight may have been my favorite this time. i squealed and giggled the entire time. so did ryan. but i think he was laughing at me.


the majestic matterhorn.


it was our first time on nemo's submarine. it was alright.


did i mention it was over eighty degrees that day? it was heavenly...


buzz lightyear's astro blasters was a real blast...



...clearly. check out those scores! it was some stiff competition.



tarzan's treehouse is another favorite. i would love to have this beauty in my backyard for the occasional campout.









ryan's favorite: the haunted mansion!


main street. it gives me goosebumps every time.



oh boy-my worst nightmare!



we headed back to the hotel in the afternoon to rest our feet and get some warmer clothes. i love hotels. especially hotels with robes.

our night in disneyland ended with clam chowder in a bread bowl, fireworks, the teacups, and a second trip on pirates of the caribbean. it felt complete, but there was still a piece missing...

the entire day we had been searching for an elusive cookie, one that can only be found in disneyland. one that ryan had a couple of years ago and never forgot. finally, on our last trip down main street, i suddenly desired hot cocoa and and there in a glass case inside the coffee shop was the very cookie we had been searching for. we bought three. and some milk. ryan was tickled.

and then we hopped on the train and rode around the park at closing time eating and drinking our chocolate treats.

it was such a perfect way to end one of the happiest days.

love night

i hurried home to find a husband that had shopped for a cozy dinner at home that would suit my craving of the day: spaghetti. mmmmmm....

ryan pulled the valentine's day box from the garage so i could set a special table. and we lit our valentine's day candle.

no wine for this preggo. instead i had a delightful and refreshing spritzer. made with orange juice, pineapple juice and a splash of sprite.

cheers! to us!

after supper, we ate cookies and milk and cuddled on the couch watching shows that had piled up on our dvr.

we exchanged cards. ryan made mine from scratch. it was perhaps the cutest thing i have ever received. i felt like a bit of a slacker handing over my store-bought card. but i couldn't resist the opportunity to buy my first "for husband" card.

and as if to perfectly wrap up our valentine's celebration, this morning i heard our little baby's heartbeat for the first time. fast, strong and steady. just like mama likes it.

love day

i smiled the second my alarm buzzed it's annoying horn on this cold, rainy morning.



i lumbered to the kitchen and admired all the red and pink treats that were left at our house or found in our mailbox over the weekend. cards and confections from moms and dads, sisters and grandparents.



i kissed my sleeping lover and told him that my heart was over flowing today and that like every monday, i couldn't wait to get home to him. he smiled and dozed back off.



i put on my red coat, the one i bought myself the day after ryan asked me to be his. and i smiled when i realized that it was now far t0o small to button.



i drove to work and smiled as i passed a young boy riding his bike eagerly through the rain. a single rose surrounded by baby's breath stuck out of his backpack. full of promise and hope.



and then for breakfast i ate one of the chocolate chip cookies that my mom had made for us, without nuts, because she knows ryan doesn't like nuts in his cookies. and then i ate a banana because i felt bad.



usually on this day, ryan and i stay home, and drink wine, and together make our traditional shrimp scampi with salad and garlic bread, but this year shrimp really grosses me out. i don't know what we will eat tonight, but i know that it will be equally romantic. even if we eat cereal.



i love this day.



and after one of the dreamiest weekends, i love this man more than i ever thought possible.

birthday baby

somebody very little and very dear had his first birthday...

there were colorful decorations, yards and yards of paper chains and goody bags, all thanks to two very creative and very loving mama and papa bear...

oh....and FOOD. amazing, delicious food. and the best punch i have ever had. i heard the sangria was real special too. bummer.

there were one year old baby fingers...

and one year old baby toes to adore...

and a bouce house with a doggy!

most importantly, there were many people there to celebrate the first year of little baby logan..

he looks excited to open his card!

and a bit melancholy about his first cake. but could he be any cuter?

adorable. even when he scrunches up his nose and declares that he doesn't like cake.

i, however, very much enjoyed the cake for big people.

and i love that little boy even more.

you are one, logan! can't wait to see how much cuter and sweeter you get in your second year,

and the year after that,

and after that...

fifteen weeks

dear baby:

*you must be a really good little baby, because you listened to my only request and ensured that i feel better soon. finally, a day where throwing up isn't on the forefront of my mind. thank you, baby.

*eating has become really fun again. which is kind of scary. and i am trying really hard to feed you lots of brain food. but i am also making sure that my craving for frozen yogurt and fruit does not go unnoticed.

*yesterday i ate a pint of strawberries. i couldn't get enough! i may start calling you my little baby berry.

*i am waiting for you to begin kicking and doing somersaults. i can't wait to feel you move. it sounds like magic.

*people are starting to do double takes. it is nice to feel like i look like i am expecting, not that i just ate another thanksgiving dinner.

*tomorrow we are going to one of our favorite places on earth: DISNEYLAND! your dear daddy thought i might like such a surprise and boy, was he right! wow! we can't wait to bring you to disneyland for the first time.

*keep growing baby. we love you so.

when i was in napa last weekend, i stumbled across the cutest little antique shop on second street and found my way to this little corner...

there were the most interesting old things...

and some clever little hand made traysures.

everything was so well displayed...


with pops of color to intrigue the eye...

and please the senses....

and then this little darling came into sight!

its no wonder i liked this little corner so much.

i am so proud and excited for my mama's new venture. she was made for this.

here's to you mamasita!

omg.

this little beauty just popped up in my inbox...

my mouth fell to the floor.


can you believe it?


i feel famous just by association and i also feel like these two are really twins and were just reunited. serious. rach is just. like. the pioneer woman. just as cool. just as talented.


and now i want red hair. bad.

p.s. the little darling on the right is my sista's bff ashley, a.k.a. ash. and she is just as cool.